March of the Machine Madness heroes of the multiverse power ranking

March of the Machine Madness, Heroes of the Multiverse Power Ranking

Jason KrellMagic Story

Welcome to March of the Machine Madness, where we’re taking the next week to ask you which Magic characters would win in a fight. Considering March of the Machine is taking us all over the multiverse, forcing characters against each other in mortal combat, we thought the timing was perfect.

However, we would never just pit two characters against each other, head-to-head, and ask you to pick based on personal preference. No, we’re sure you’ll be using the most strict, canon-driven reasoning when you vote on our Twitter.

But just in case you’re not up-to-date on Magic’s lore, we decided to do a power ranking that breaks down each contender’s strengths, weaknesses and feats. We’ll also mention their cards, too, since it’s hard to separate story from gameplay sometimes.

So, without further ado, let’s take a look at the many legendary heroes of the multiverse, who are fighting back against Phyrexia from their home planes!

Giada is a teenager, which is reflected in her seeding. That being said, she is a helpful teenager who is also an angel. That warranted her inclusion on the list in the first place.

While she spent most of her introductory story being protected by Elspeth, Giada seemed to sacrifice her Halo-essence to grant the planeswalker Luxior. Then she… got better! And when the Phyrexians came back to New Capenna, she helped the various planes of the multiverse fight back alongside her angelic sisters.

That is all important, but it doesn’t make her the most apt fighter. Sure, if she made it out of her region and ended up in the finals against a Phyrexia, maybe she’d have a shot. But her skills are so specialized that I won’t hold my breath for that happening.

From a card perspective, she has only shown up twice. Her original appearance, Giada, Font of Hope seemed like it could have given life to an angel-focused Standard deck — but it never materialized. We have yet to see what impact, if any, Errant and Giada will have.

No. 7: Torbran, Thane of Red Fell

Torbran is one of the few dwarves who had the patience for courts of humanity and attempted to become a knight of Embereth. Yet while he defeated every foe he came across, the insult he received before his final test was so personal that Torbran refused to continue. So, he returned to the Wilds and his place as the Thane of the Red Fell clan.

Being a powerful fighter is good. His position as Thane means he has a head for leadership. He even has the capacity to forge powerful weapons! Still, he’s just kind of a guy. And during the Phyrexian Invasion, he couldn’t even stop Rankle from messing up his plan. That may have been written for laughs (and it was funny), but we still have to count it against him.

As a card, though, there is no joking when Torbran hits the table. He was a key finisher in red decks at the time of his release, and the way he accelerated damage put fear into the hearts of blue players throughout Standard. He has never really appeared anywhere else, but that’s still notable history.

No. 6: Akiri

Akiri is a fearless, adventuring Kor from Zendikar who has the courage to stand up to Nahiri, repeatedly (even if that didn’t always work out super well for her). After a life of soldiering and line-slinging ended during the Eldrazi reawakening, she worked to restore sea gate alongside a party of others in the aftermath.

The thing about Akiri is she always finds companions who have her back, and the power of friendship is one of the most crucial in all of storytelling. However, even if she brought help, it doesn’t stack up to the heat some of her competitors are packing.

It is worth mentioning that she did help thwart Nahiri (the No. 4 seed in the Planeswalker region) during the Phyrexian invasion — but she couldn’t do it alone. Plus, it’s not really clear whether she finished the job in the first place…

As a card, Akiri has really only ever shown up in the Commander format — though that makes sense given she was one of the original legendary creatures with partner. Still, whichever version of Akiri helms your deck is powerful and can make excellent use of all the equipment you’re packing.

No. 5: Quintorius Kand

You can’t help but root for a Loxodon like Quintorius. That may be because he belongs to Strixhaven’s Lorehold college of archeologists (the coolest reimagining of the red/white color pair), but he is a competent combatant in his own way.

As a learned and accomplished student, he can summon ancient spirits to help get the job done. Plus, while trying to drive away Phyrexian invaders with the founder’s spell, Quint’s planeswalker spark ignited and he traveled away. This, in my book, gives him a bit of extra credibility — despite being fresh to his new powers.

Quintorius, Field Historian never stood out in Standard, but it is a beloved uncommon Commander by graveyard loving, Lorehold diehards. His new card also seems well positioned in Commander, though probably a bit too slow to make it in more competitive spaces.

No. 4: Pia Nalaar

Good ol’ Renegade Prime, Ghirapur’s latest Consul of Allocation and Chandra’s actual mother, Pia has accomplished a great deal throughout her life. This is all despite losing her beloved husband, Kiran, and spending time in jail at an earlier age.

She is a talented inventor and successful revolutionary who helped prepare Kaladesh for the oncoming Phyrexian invasion. Alongside Saheeli, she ensured he plane endured the worst Elesh Norn could throw at them. Pia may not punch anyone out in a fight, but odds are she’d have a slick invention to make sure she comes out on top.

Pia’s first card, appearing alongside her husband (one of the ORIGINAL legendary team up cards), had the notable ability to create three bodies on board for four mana while also giving players the ability to burn away threats at the cost of an artifact. At times, it served as a valuable three-for-one in some Modern Jeskai Flash/Tempo sideboards. As a solo act, Pia slotted perfectly into Standard’s Red Deck Wins list at the time — a solid two-for-one with a mana sink that could close out the game under the right circumstances.

No. 3: Jirina Kudro

Jirina Kudro is about all the stood between the people of Drannith and destruction. Once the leader of the Coppercoats, she eventually got promoted to general after her former fiancé killed her dad. She then orchestrated a successful defense of the city (with the help of Vivien Reid) and almost stopped Lukka’s violent tantrum.

Then, she helped the city’s survivors reach Lavabrink after Lukka returned on the side of New Phyrexia. Part of this once again involved a bit of clever strategy, as she led the Planeswalker right into Vadrok’s lair for a final confrontation. The Raugrin apex beast needed a bit of help to finish off Phyrexia’s No. 8 seed, but a win is a win.

As a card, Jirina has never shown up in Standard — but she did lead the Savai (or Mardu) preconstructed deck from Commander 2020! Befitting her status as a general, she is an ever increasing army in a can who happens to make the humans around her even stronger.

No. 2: Ral Zarek

A powerful storm mage, genius inventor, Izzet League guildmaster, planeswalker and loving husband, there isn’t much Ral can’t handle. He’s a bit eccentric and his inventions don’t always work the first time, but he has never shied away from a challenge.

Despite working for Bolas as a young man, he was instrumental in stopping him when he invaded Ravnica during the War of the Spark. His invention, which obliterated Phyrexian oil, was also key in Ravnica’s defense against Elesh Norn. Vraska got to experience its effect first-hand.

In terms of cards, Ral has appeared as a Planeswalker four times. In addition, a handful of other card-types also reference his name. They all often play into very Izzet things — direct damage, copying spells and card advantage.

No. 1: Zacama

Zacama is a massive, elder dinosaur from the heart of Orazca who had been frozen in stasis during the city’s hibernation. She is the living embodiment of the Threefold Sun, a deity worshiped by Ixalan’s Sun Empire. The dino was also briefly tamed by Huatli during the original Ixalan story, and she reappeared when Phyrexia invaded to absolutely mess up a compleated Etali.

Zacama may be questionable as a hero herself, but she did fight to defend Ixalan. Even if she only did so as a kind of force of nature, that’s good enough in my book. I mean, are you going to try and tell her she can’t be the No. 1 seed on this list? I didn’t think so.

As a card, Zacama was more of a “making your dreams into memes” sort of situation in Standard — and she is way too expensive for any other format. Of course, she makes the hearts of dinosaur-loving Commander players sing, and that’s worth something. Realistically, though, she is hard carried in this slot by raw, narrative power.

End Step

That’s it for the our guest star heroes from across the multiverse! And now that you know them all better, you can vote for the first round of battles on our Twitter right now. Don’t forget to read up on our other power rankings and check back throughout the week to make sure your pick makes it all the way to the end!

Also, if you’re looking to prepare for March of the Machine in real life, you can find everything you need through our pre-order, today!