Due to recent events, many of us have had to practice self-isolation and quarantine ourselves in our own homes. For better or worse, this new way of life can be a lonely one…but does it have to be? Perhaps this might be a great time to bring a new special someone into your world – someone whose presence, affection and snuggliness can comfort you as you spend your days in pajama pants.
So, why not adopt a pet from the Multiverse during these troubled times?
Of course, you shouldn’t just grab a random Rat Colony or a common Bear Cub. Choosing a creature to share your life with is a serious decision and one that shouldn’t be made lightly. You should always consider your lifestyle and what resources you have at your disposal. With that in mind, here are a few lovely critters that might just be the perfect fit for you.
Most Instagrammable Pet
Meadowboon’s features are definitely puzzling, but the combination of a rabbit’s head, fox’s legs, sheep’s body, and a dashing stripe of plant life make it a wonderful fit for your Instagram account. Consider all the different ways you can pose Meadowboon! Perhaps curled around a mug of hot chamomile tea with the hashtag #WarmComforts. Or in a cute bath with floating flowers with the hashtag #SmallPleasures. Or posed next to some freshly cut roses in a vase with some cruelty-free lip gloss, #AllNatural. Its ephemeral nature is perfect for the “here now, gone the next” world of social media, and it will leave you not just with +1/+1 counters, but with dozens of new followers.
Best Security Pet
If you’re worried about anyone accosting you on the street on your way back from the grocery store, Mowu will absolutely be the goodest boy to defend you and your rolls of toilet paper. He might crowd the sidewalk, but rest assured that his loyalty will keep you safe. You may want to reduce his size before feeding him his daily kibble, though; otherwise, you’ll need to budget for a huge bag of “Large Breed” chow.
Best Pet For Video Conference Cameos
Unfortunately, most of our contact with our co-workers, friends and acquaintances takes place over video conference calls. This is the perfect opportunity for your pet to make an unexpected (and very welcome) appearance!
Enter Cauldron Familiar, a cute little cat that just keeps coming back. Though it’s on the smaller side, this sweet little feline will repeatedly make its presence known on camera no matter how many times you shoo it off your desk. If you really need to interrupt your manager’s incessant droning, simply pop a Food open and Cauldron Familiar will be back to liven the mood.
Best Robot Pet
Perhaps you have severe allergies, don’t like seeing your furniture destroyed, or dislike cleaning up after a pet. Since talking to your Roomba is the saddest option on earth, why not adopt an Alloy Myr? Myrs are compact, tessellate well (see Myr Battlesphere), and are extremely useful around the house. Plus, they’re pretty adorable – who doesn’t want to boop that little beak-like snoot? They can even help you in a pinch with any mana color issues you might have.
Best in Show
The price might be a bit high (after all, two of each color is a lot to ask for), but Progenitus will certainly get you noticed in your neighborhood. You’re not just getting an absolute unit in Progenitus – you’re getting the physical manifestation of Alara’s Worldsoul, which is nothing to sneeze at. They will be difficult to care for, and you’ll need to set aside five food bowls every day instead of one. However, having a basically-immortal pet that can protect itself from anything more than makes up for that inconvenience.
You may need to commission a custom five-headed leash from Etsy, though.
Most Pragmatic Pet
Many potential pet owners don’t just want a companion that looks good – they also want a pet that pulls its own weight. Enter Jhoira’s Familiar, an artifact bird that can help you keep away pesky flying invaders. Jhoira’s Famililar also makes it easier for you to bring legendary friends, stories, and other robot buddies into your life. Though it doesn’t require food, you’ll still want to make sure to keep this sweet little owl well-oiled and polished to keep it happy.
However, you might want to negotiate visiting times with Jhoira. It’s still her Familiar, after all.
Pet That Will Most Annoy Your Neighbors
Sheltering in place can make you more aware of your neighbors’ less considerate tendencies. So, if you want a pet that’s more of a scoundrel than a sweetheart, grab yourself a Slippery Bogle! Sure, it’ll be impossible to wrangle when it’s time to clip its claws, and keeping all those auras on will be a huge pain in the neck. But there’s no better way to keep your neighbors in check after the third time they throw a late-night party.
While there are many different creatures out there in the Multiverse, hopefully this quick guide can help you decide which one to take home! If you know which creature you’d like to cuddle, share it with us at @Card_Kingdom on Twitter, and check out our IRL pets on Instagram using the hashtag #PetsOfCK.
A consummate lover of books, tea, food and instant-speed kill spells, Michelle is a person of many passions. Her hobbies include cuddling cats, throwing pottery, and analyzing Magic lore from a literary perspective. She is also a co-host of the Vorthos comedy podcast, “The Loregoyfs,” and she comprises a full 25% of The Felidar Guardian (specifically the right hand, left ear and both scapulas). Her CMC is 2BWU, and her ETB trigger creates two 1/1 cats with lifelink and trample.