Sometimes the Best Removal in Commander is Stealing

Sometimes the best way to get rid of something is to take it. Kristen has rounded up some of the best ways to take from your opponent’s boards. Theft effects can be the best options for some colors to deal with problem permanents.

The Sheldon Menery Secret Lair is dispatching at the moment, and while reflecting on all of what Sheldon did for the community, I’ve been musing on one of his favorite phrases lately: “You did this to yourself.”

Decks that play opponent’s cards are super popular, from Gonti, Canny Acquisitor to “Oops, all Clones!”. What sets these decks apart from the idea of a theft effect, though, is that they are either casting opponent’s spells, or copying permanents in play; neither strategy outright sets out to use theft effects as their bread and butter.

There are some decks that rely entirely on Threaten effects to function, such as certain builds of Hofri Ghostforge, The Beast, Deathless Prince, or Obeka, Brute Chronologist, but stealing things shouldn’t be limited to just themed builds. Sometimes, stealing something takes it away from a player who might otherwise flicker, clone or sacrifice it. It’s the same logic as keeping it Imprisoned in the Moon by a Song of the Dryads. 

MIGHT WE PARLEY? I HAVE THIS DRAKE

The original steal-a-creature effect that’s still going strong in cEDH is of course Gilded Drake. For just two mana, it’s one of Blue’s best “removal spells”, and is a great way to illustrate my point. Some colors don’t get access to the best exile removal, and so stealing is a great option, especially as often it comes with a lot of upside.

While Gilded Drake is out of budget for a lot of us, MH3 brought us Volatile Stormdrake, which is a similar, albeit way less strong version of the effect. It has a ceiling when it comes to stealing and keeping the exchanged creature (how much energy you have), but it can just outright remove a creature for two mana if you choose to/can’t pay the energy requirement. It’s efficient. 

ANOTHER FINE ADDITION TO MY COLLECTION

Creatures aren’t the only things worth stealing, and some permanent types are poised to provide practical payoffs the longer they stay in play – which is often easier for noncreature permanents. 

Thieving Skydiver is one such all-star creature, and one that draws me into playing blue decks just because I love casting it. I talked recently about ways to punish a Sol Ring start, and this little Merfolk can do that and more. I’ve used it to grab Sol Rings before, but I’ve also used it – to great effect – to nab a Sword of Feast and Famine, which is ridiculous seeing as the equipment also auto-equips to the Skydiver. 

I was recently blown out pretty badly by my friend casting this and taking my Esper Sentinel I’d just put a +1/+1 counter on, that had so far not drawn me any cards that game. It drew my friend cards. Damnit. 

Another option in a similar vein that I think is criminally underplayed is Fumble. Fumble, at the floor, is a two mana Unsummon, which can still sometimes be what you need. It can save your guy, or bounce someone else’s.

The ceiling though? Damn, it’s high considering it costs only two mana. You play against a lot of Aura-Enchantress, Voltron, or Equipment? Yeah, this is going to punish people hard. It’s even good in the current climate of people splashing equipment like Excalibur into decks like Ghalta. 

If you’re in a blue equipment deck yourself, like Arna Kennerud or Basim Ibn Ishaq, then this is also just roughly equivalent to a two mana move-all-of-your-equipment-and-reuse-an-etb-or-save-a-creature-from-removal-or-being-blocked. 

SIMPLY ENCHANTED

If you are beset by all manner of Smothering Tithes, Rhystic Studies, Teleportation Circles and other nonsense, then Aura Thief is seriously worth a look, particularly if you’re in a deck with sacrifice outlets or spells like Deadly Dispute. There’s one clarification on its textbox, though:

When Aura Thief dies, you gain control of all enchantments. (You don’t get to move Auras.)

The updated modernized text clarifies you don’t get to move Auras. Now, seeing as this called Aura Thief, I thought it was worth pointing out. So, although you might control a Bear Umbra – and benefit from the land untap – you can’t move it to your own creature to try and trigger it (and the owner will probably not attack if you gain control of it, let’s be honest). 

Still, it’s a fantastic workhorse of a card, and might be more consistent to give you value than Crafty Cutpurse.

If that seems like too much effort, and you’re struggling to deal with value Enchantments in mono-blue, then just play Steal Enchantment. It just straight up steals an enchantment, for you to enjoy the benefits of. Such a fun card. 

MORE FOR YOUR MANA

The more you spend on a theft effect, the more you’re going to get out of it. Blue can steal any permanent for seven mana, and even gets an Ancestral Recall if you’ve stolen enough things. Pumping more mana into flickering or cloning Agent of Treachery is a win condition in many decks. 

I know I mentioned at the start of this article that we weren’t interested in effects that cast opponent’s spells, but I’m making an exception to talk about Dire Fleet Daredevil a moment because it does technically exile the spell, and because it’s such a cool card.

I’ve done some absurd things with this, like casting a Surge to Victory which went on to combo off with my Ephemerate and my Aurelia, the Warleader. I’ve used burn spells to kill people with their own burn. I’ve even convinced a friend to stop running Sign In Blood after killing him with it.

COME OVER TO THE WINNING SIDE

Of course, the most common theft is of an opposing creature. Word of Seizing is a bit long in the tooth now, but it can steal any permanent, which makes it surprisingly versatile. I’m more often going to push this effect into my manabase, though, and just play the MDFC Song-Mad Treachery instead. It’s handy in a pinch. 

For those who want something a little more… sweeping… then consider just borrowing a whole army. Insurrection is the poster-child for this effect, but I find the cost a little high. Instead I usually opt for a Mob Rule, which can steal most of the things you need to try and win/eliminate a player for only six mana. These effects are naturally better when you have sac outlets, which is one of the ways to make Reins of Power so one-sided. 

Vedalken Shackles and Willbreaker are some of the oldest repeatable theft effects in the format, and I still think Vedalken Shackles can be really strong in the right build. You’re just borrowing something. Just for a bit. 

FREE FOR ALL

Not all theft effects are locked into UR colors. Helm of Possession is one that any deck can run, and similarly to Vedalken Shackles, offers a repeatable sacrifice outlet to steal things with. It’s an oldy, so not really on radars as much.

Something a little newer is Eriette’s Tempting Apple, that quite literally tempts creatures over for the promise of a tasty snack. I would be happy to jam this in Food decks in Selesyna and Abzan colors, and I think it’s a cool piece of tech that people don’t see coming outside of red.

The one that takes the cake takoyaki however is the new MH3 Emrakul, the World Anew. Emrakul gains control of all creatures a player controls… permanently. Or at least, until she leaves play, at which point they are given back sacrificed. This new Emrakul can be brutal, punishing players for curving out, and it can come out a lot earlier than you think if a deck has dropped a Thran Dynamo and a Sol Ring and casts something like Demand Answers.

Super fun to cast, though.

END STEP

Stealing stuff is fun, but it’s also useful. It keeps things out of harms way, and gives you a nice bit of tempo – and potentially game winning potential. 

If you’re scared of having your stuff taken permanently, just remember that the “Home” part of Sword of Hearth and Home says a creature you own, which means you can flicker something you’ve had taken to bring it back home.

Neat!